Dharmajam's Blog


#yeshuafixesit
September 26, 2017, 11:07 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Yeshua fixes it. Namely, us. Humankind. Bound and suffering in our endless chains of karmic debt. His atoning death paid that debt for you in full. All you have to do is opt in.

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Morning Paper #1
June 2, 2015, 12:55 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Ask and you shall receive is not a lie

All it requires it the ability to believe

But lately I’ve been walking in pain

Not loving my neighbor, I wondered

Why God is able to offer them mercy

When despicable, nasty, no good hearts

Love suffering love hate love low-down

Love all the dasterdly world except Him

If there is any Love in me, it is only Him

and He loves His creation, I must love Him

and show Him my fealty by serving them

 



Preceding The Diagnosis
June 1, 2015, 11:22 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

fornicating
corner over
there in my head,

in its folds
a low-flying
plane seeping poison:

      engine-less

 

    art.

fornicating
corner open
to invitation calling

      out illusory

 

    passengers,

 

      dead from God

 

    knows what

A hollow,
impatient,
straight-jacket
white

corner of my head has become all that I am.

-Dharmaja Maldonado January 28, 2009



Thank God for the Written Word
November 9, 2012, 6:01 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I cleaned out Ani’s closet this morning and found a treasure.  A journal.  I’ve gone over to writing electronically that I no longer make chronicles of a period of time that, taken as a whole, become a revealing narrative.  Writing online reduces and homogenizes for public, safe, consumption.  Journaling has been such an important tool in knowing myself; it should not be something let go of with ease, it must be cherished.

My journals are always sprinkled with poetry.  Some of them are amusing, some of them interesting.  I’d like to start sharing them.

-Dharmaja



An answer, 2 years later
November 6, 2012, 3:51 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Should suffering be avoided? (logged under “medicine / health”)

My question joined suffering inextricably to pain.

The answer is much more sane.

Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is optional.



Anaphylactic Future Shock
November 6, 2012, 12:11 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Today Steven asked if we could go out for dinner as a family. Emerie will surely have a major reaction if we go out a let her eat whatever is available. Even if I am very careful about selecting her meal to exclude known triggers, there are most certainly preservatives in the cooking oils and hidden artificials like MSG, disguised as a “natural flavor” or “yeast.”

I am tired. I would like nothing more than to go out and indulge a bit in not cooking a fabulous dinner that Em will reject and complain about anyway. So, I am caught between trading a night’s relaxation for at least 2 days of absolute chaos (maybe more), or saying ‘no’ to the offer and spending another tiresome evening trying to make my children eat, facing the next few days with only the usual amount of low level reaction but with the added burden of not having gotten the break I need.

I rarely get a break. I have waited far too long in finding a mama’s group I can get along with. I submitted a request to join one called “the laid back mamas.” But that does nothing to help me today.

I could decide to go out and also decide to breath deeply when the reaction kicks in. I could decide to nurture myself better so that I am better able to nurture my daughter. After her salt bath, I could take one then go right to bed. When she wakes up screaming, I can crawl in next to her, hold her and just sleep together for the rest of the night.

This is a good plan. It is so damn hard to have to live in isolation from the world around. This is our toxic inheritance from the industrial revolution. The future has arrived, but surprise! we are allergic to it.

-Dharmaja

 



Journal
August 20, 2012, 12:27 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I miss you dearly.  Long gone are the days of near constant chronicle, displaced by near constant fatigue.  I am sorry Muse.  Please don’t leave me alone on the journey.