Dharmajam's Blog

Prayer of The Resilient Child
August 27, 2010, 1:21 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

In the wake of narcissis’

bloom, please let me

bloom myself.

I love me,

I will take care for me.


August 16, 2010, 11:25 pm
Filed under: Mothering / Parenting, Religion / Philosophy

Revelation. This morning, although exhausted, something happened that I have been running after for many years now. I enjoyed going about, cleaning up the back patio, rearranging stuff, feeding the dogs, feeding the kids. And while I stood, surveying my work, an epiphany.

My life is a microcosm of the evolution from animal to human and subsequent “fall of man.” And so is everyone else’s. This can’t be too far fetched. I am not well enough read to instantly know which philosopher has already covered this ground.  Google gave me references to Milton’s Paradise Lost, published in 1667, and also the poem The Light of the Microcosm by early 19th century poet Petar II Petrovic Njegos, Bishop of Montenegro.

But, I was struck by the simple happiness Annika had while we both puttered about outside.  She just turned 15 months.  It made me realize that I used to be that way too.  Just happy to be here, and breathing, and experiencing new things.  Somewhere along the way, I began to reject simplicity and chase after an elusive idea of perfection that I had created. 

I thought of the evolution, or growth, of the fetus.  We each begin as a single cell organism, which starts to become human when acted upon by another.  The cell starts to rapidly divide and become a higher life form.  Soon, the developing child resembles lower life forms.  Reptilian features give way to a mammilian appearance, including a tail.  The tail disappears, and the human emerges from this condensed, personal experience of Man’s evolution. 

Continuing with the idea of a personal experience of the evolutional journey, the new baby is wholly and contentedly dependent on the mother and father, in much the same way newly created Man must have experienced his relationship with God in Eden.  All was well.  Then comes “The Fall.”  Man becomes like an animal (meaning here that he became disconnected from God and subject to the laws of nature, such as death), a caveman if you will… and the baby becomes a toddler, complete with communication in grunts and pointing and a developing sense of individuality which prompts extreme displeasure manifesting as tantrums. 

But, the toddler gradually becomes socialized, over about a 3 to 5 year period to the point when he acquires the capacity to reason and communicate verbally

This point is extremely facinating!  A child can not realize his full potential as a human unless he receieves this contact with other humans.  This means that we are not inheritly human; we must be acted upon by “the other” in order to become human.  We must be perceived as human by someone else! 

Only look to the regretable  instances of feral children, or children who are withheld human love and attention, and we can see the lack of full human capabilities such as verbal communication.  True, these children may have had developmental difficulties from the outset which prompted their caregiver(s), evil though it is, to reject them.  However, we have seen that developmentally challenged children acquire higher levels of functioning through loving care and attention.

Here we come to the chicken or the egg.  How did this human capacity to reason and verbally communicate come to exist?  How could it have sprung up out of nothing?  I am inclined to believe that God gave us the capacity and then socialized us to its use, in a similar way to the development of children.

So what does this mean for me today? How should this impact my day to day living? How should any of us respond to such a revelation? I feel prompted to delve deeper, to be happy with what is, to give thanks and praise.  If life as we experience it is not a given, then I must rely on the giver.

The Anxiety of Modern Life
August 7, 2010, 9:29 pm
Filed under: Religion / Philosophy, Uncategorized

This theory tried to be a poem. I’m afraid that’s not working out. Here goes.

The Anxiety of Modern Life

Suffering, to ancients,

was not cause to doubt God.

Now we live in a diamond mirage of cures

with primal dogs shimmering about the edges.

The invincibility of modern children

makes them mad.

It is a state of unfathomed luxury,

to be even capable of questioning

God’s existence, let alone

His will.

Modern anxiety, arising from

a world created by us to

eliminate him.

We are anxious

that the prison guards will soon

find us missing and

release those

furious dogs.

Or is it that the prospect of

a Godless world is

so wrong that our collective being is

formed now in revolt?

Or is it that having

ejected from his heart

The Highest,

Man suffers the lowest?

absolute angst, greater than any mortal affliction could inspire.

Man is without, without, without.  That which,

to him, in his heart of hearts,

he understands, yet denies,

is most tender and dear.

– dharmaja m.