Dharmajam's Blog


Thank God for the Written Word
November 9, 2012, 6:01 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I cleaned out Ani’s closet this morning and found a treasure.  A journal.  I’ve gone over to writing electronically that I no longer make chronicles of a period of time that, taken as a whole, become a revealing narrative.  Writing online reduces and homogenizes for public, safe, consumption.  Journaling has been such an important tool in knowing myself; it should not be something let go of with ease, it must be cherished.

My journals are always sprinkled with poetry.  Some of them are amusing, some of them interesting.  I’d like to start sharing them.

-Dharmaja

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An answer, 2 years later
November 6, 2012, 3:51 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Should suffering be avoided? (logged under “medicine / health”)

My question joined suffering inextricably to pain.

The answer is much more sane.

Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is optional.



Anaphylactic Future Shock
November 6, 2012, 12:11 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Today Steven asked if we could go out for dinner as a family. Emerie will surely have a major reaction if we go out a let her eat whatever is available. Even if I am very careful about selecting her meal to exclude known triggers, there are most certainly preservatives in the cooking oils and hidden artificials like MSG, disguised as a “natural flavor” or “yeast.”

I am tired. I would like nothing more than to go out and indulge a bit in not cooking a fabulous dinner that Em will reject and complain about anyway. So, I am caught between trading a night’s relaxation for at least 2 days of absolute chaos (maybe more), or saying ‘no’ to the offer and spending another tiresome evening trying to make my children eat, facing the next few days with only the usual amount of low level reaction but with the added burden of not having gotten the break I need.

I rarely get a break. I have waited far too long in finding a mama’s group I can get along with. I submitted a request to join one called “the laid back mamas.” But that does nothing to help me today.

I could decide to go out and also decide to breath deeply when the reaction kicks in. I could decide to nurture myself better so that I am better able to nurture my daughter. After her salt bath, I could take one then go right to bed. When she wakes up screaming, I can crawl in next to her, hold her and just sleep together for the rest of the night.

This is a good plan. It is so damn hard to have to live in isolation from the world around. This is our toxic inheritance from the industrial revolution. The future has arrived, but surprise! we are allergic to it.

-Dharmaja